Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Question #13 ~
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
This is a tricky question because every answer I consider is really doable. So if I really wanted it to change I should get up off my lazy bottom and excersise more, eat less, eat healthy, be more confident when talking to others, finish my book, take more chances with my carreer, speak my mind more, not let my boss treat me so poorly, be a better housekeeper, cook more meals at home, etc... etc.. but each change requires effort, and more than that... change. And change has never been my strong suit.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Question #12 ~
When and where were you the happiest?
Snuggled inside a sleeping bag next to Dan on the bank of the Colorado river deep in the Grand Canyon under a blanket of stars.
Sitting on a pristine white beach in Cabo San Lucas with my toes in the sand and the sun just setting and Dan kissed me.
Standing in front of my minister uncle in our backyard in the moment he said you may kiss the bride.
This morning when he kissed me goodbye to go to work.
And 1,000,000 more small and big events. Happy is easy.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
People come and go in your life. Friendships rise and fall, woosh at the beginning then fade a bit after time. Some friends you may not talk to for weeks, months, years and yet when you come back together sometimes it is like you were never apart. Yet others you pass by at the mall or grocery store just by coincidence and you barely say hello. There was no fight, no big breakup just life changes and so sometimes friendships falter.
(Picture of me and my very good friend Kay from... OMG... about 9-10 years ago now... and yes, we are still friends, and I value it so very much.)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Question #9 ~
Which living person do you most despise?
Myself for hugging my husband's ex-wife at the wedding yesterday. Sighhh... she damn well took me by surprise. She spent the last siXteen years making my life hell at every opportunity she had. I have had a thousand conversations with her in my own head, calling her on the carpet for the hundreds of things that hurt those in my family.
But I smiled and hugged back (the first hug EVER in 16 years, for that matter I can count the words she has spoke to me before the wedding on one hand)... and felt just miserable for it. It is sometimes hard to just let go of anger and unhappiness even for the sake of peace and your child's happiness. But I did it, but still... despise for today... myself.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Question #8 ~
What do you dislike most about your appearence?
The back of my left knee... have one mole there that I don't care for.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Question #7 ~
On what occasion do you lie?
Mmmmm... this cake is delicious.
Yes, I like your new purse.
I am (cough, sniffle, cough) sick and can't come in to work today. (I only use this one about once every couple of years.)
Oh, she is the cutest baby.
Yes, I love the pants you got me for my birthday, the flower print is pretty.
Really, when the truth would just be hurtful and the lie is white. It is a squiggly line sometimes, but I try to be as honest as I can.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Question #6 ~
What is your current state of mind?
Our daughter informed us on Thursday that her boyfriend asked her to marry him (he is home on two weeks leave from the Navy). The first leave that they have spent together as a couple as all their previous being together has been online. They are getting married on Tuesday.
I am worried. Worried that my beautiful 23 year old daughter is making a what may be mistake and worried at the rush. We have expressed all these worries to her in this very brief time she has given us to digest and respond and try to make sense out of this. She is an adult and seems to be making an adult decision, and I will hope for the best in all of this. She is in love and in love there is always hope.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Question #5 ~
Friday, June 19, 2009
25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.
Question #4 ~
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Absence of empathy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Question #3 ~
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Wow... deplore... that is kind of potent word. I spent hours thinking on this one. I try to please people too much, often to my own detriment. But, it also means I am someone who cares passionately about others. I take on hobbies and immerse myself for months, and then can let them go. Hubby says he doesn't understand this about me, but I just love trying new things and sometimes they stay with me for a lifetime (writing and painting) and sometimes I get my fill and flutter off to something else, but I don't think this is a trait to deplore. I am not terribly good with change when it will effect my level of personal comfort. I think this is something worth working on when it comes to my job. But I make a decent living that lets me have a comfortable life and so am willing to put up with a few things that I don't like for that comfort. This too isn't something to deplore, but more simply understand about myself.
I am a bit of a snack-a-holic... put a bag of chips in front of me and my hand seems to have its very own mind. I wouldn't mind having this trait a bit more under control. But I do love salty and sweet and bad for me, so I don't entirely deplore this.
Nope... nothing to deplore today.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Question #2 ~
What is your greatest fear?
I fear other people's emotions. When I was a child I would take in my parents anger and unhappiness real or percieved and near to drown in it. Other's people pain seemed to seep into me in ways I thought I had no control over. This trait of mine I have worked hard over the many years of my life to turn into something that doesn't overwhelm and isn't a negative. It is still a daily struggle to not let other's negative emotions become mine. A friend in a bad mood and I have to work hard to not take their pain into me. My parents are no longer frightening to me as I can see their pains and struggles and not let the emotions of that overwhelm my own. Empathy is what allows us to be good and right, but when it kicks into overdrive as it has for a lot of my life it can be crippling.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Question #1 ~
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Well now, that is just an easy one to start out with isn't it! Can you be perfectly happy? The stresses of life are all around all the time. My mother is very sick with cancer. Money is always an issue. I worry about my children (23, 22, 20, 20) and the choices or lack of choices they are making. My job does not make me happy. And yet, there was a moment last night, just Hubby and me were home watching TV, Two and a Half Men was on and Charlie and Jake were tossing coins against a wall. I questioned the game and Hubby laughed at me... "Haven't you ever pitched pennies?" It wasn't ten minutes later that we were out front of my house each with a handful of pennies tossing them at the curb. And laughing, lovely full figured tummy laughs. He won, but I took two games after I got the technique down. In that moment I was perfectly happy. The stresses of life are still there, of course they are, but I allowed the happiness to flow. I took the moment and just was happy.
I think when we allow happiness it will always be perfect. Little or big, pitching pennies or holding your child in your arms for the first time... it doesn't matter, it just needs to be accepted.
(For those who are as naive as I was about this "game"... all you do is toss the pennies to the curb, closest penny wins, we played best out of five... though hubby said he would hustle the kids for lunch money in grade school with this game and usually ended up tossing quarters.)