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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Of Waldenstrom's macro-globulinemia

Waldenstrom's macro-globulinemia has come back ten years after being pushed from my mother's body. She is young (now 58) and healthy and happy. And it has come back and taken her health with a vengence. Do you think it has a memory, it is a living thing seeking revenge for us trying to kill it ten years ago? She is in the hospital. The cancer is stopping her bones from making blood and so every moment when blood cells do what cells do in your body do and they die they are not being replaced with new cells. And the cancer is trying so very hard to kill her. The chemo will try very hard to kill the cancer. Again.

I can barely breath for the worry of it. It is so ominous, so horrendous to even consider. My mother is strong. My mother is a warrior. My mother is fighting this with a calm and peace that it amazing. She will take the poisonous chemo into her body and allow it to attack the cancer. I will try to offer her calm and peace and all my love as she does battle with this killer.

I can not comprehend a life without my mother in it. She is a force that is central to everything. And yet this returning cancer is wrapping its tentacles around our lives in the most insidious way. I will love her every moment with all my heart, for a moment is sometimes all we have. A thousand moments you take for granted or a single moment that you treasure and hold onto with all your might. They are gift afforded us by hope and sometime hindsight. I love my mother, she knows this. My mother loves me, I know this. The cancer has no power even as it does it worst for it can never kill our love.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

New Boyfriend

Thank you all for your kind thoughts about my silly back injury. Glad to report it is all better. Work has been crazy busy, mostly because I work for a crazy boss who chews up and spits out the woman we find willing to do the front office position. They do a lot of typing and work directly for him and he is hard to please. Another one has been fired and still not sure what exactly was wrong. So I have to wade through another mile high stack of resumes and try to find the perfect fit that won't go running, crying her eyes out after three days. He just wants exactly what he wants when he wants it, which is a boss' perogative. Just finding the right person who can give it to him is a challenge.

On a personal note I think I have found a guy to throw off my husband for. Yes, Hubby is great, loves me, takes great care of me, is caring and warm, affectionate and fun. But come on... he isn't yellow and balding, and who could resist that?

Oh, Homer... let's go have a Duff and a donut....

Mmmmmm... donut.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dumb Injury

So I couldn't decide where to post this post. I mean, I am in pain so I thought perhaps Despair, Devastation & Dysfunction but that seems a bit to melodramatic for this bit of stupidness. So I thought to come to you for my sympathy. I have hurt my back. At 8:07 this morning (and I know the time only because my boss had asked me the time at 8:06 and this happened one minute later) I sneezed. Just an ordinary sneeze... achhhooo... bless you.... ohhhh crap. The pain raditated from that spot just above the bottom and felt like a fire was burning. And I began to cuss, and cuss some more.

The phone rang, I had to take the call. I am sure the person on the other end was wondering if I was having an erotic sexual experience as I gasped and my breathing grew labored. But alas nothing enjoyable about this stupid sneezing back aching injury. Just pain and more pain. And it isn't even like you can expect any real sympathy as in the telling people they just start laughing.

So I will keep taking asprin, and when I get home turn on the heating pad. But in the mean time... owwwwww.

Hey you... stop laughing.