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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Of Waldenstrom's macro-globulinemia

Waldenstrom's macro-globulinemia has come back ten years after being pushed from my mother's body. She is young (now 58) and healthy and happy. And it has come back and taken her health with a vengence. Do you think it has a memory, it is a living thing seeking revenge for us trying to kill it ten years ago? She is in the hospital. The cancer is stopping her bones from making blood and so every moment when blood cells do what cells do in your body do and they die they are not being replaced with new cells. And the cancer is trying so very hard to kill her. The chemo will try very hard to kill the cancer. Again.

I can barely breath for the worry of it. It is so ominous, so horrendous to even consider. My mother is strong. My mother is a warrior. My mother is fighting this with a calm and peace that it amazing. She will take the poisonous chemo into her body and allow it to attack the cancer. I will try to offer her calm and peace and all my love as she does battle with this killer.

I can not comprehend a life without my mother in it. She is a force that is central to everything. And yet this returning cancer is wrapping its tentacles around our lives in the most insidious way. I will love her every moment with all my heart, for a moment is sometimes all we have. A thousand moments you take for granted or a single moment that you treasure and hold onto with all your might. They are gift afforded us by hope and sometime hindsight. I love my mother, she knows this. My mother loves me, I know this. The cancer has no power even as it does it worst for it can never kill our love.

7 comments:

Simply Heather said...

I'm thoughtful of all you've shared, Laura Jayne...you know that. Isn't it amazing how lives intertwine another's? Yes, it is - not coincidence.

~ praying for you and all in your family

floris said...

Mothers should not die. And they never will. They will live on forever in the love they gave to their children. You can still offer so much love to her, right now while she needs it most.
I am sure that your mum is as strong as you are, so please be confident that she will kill the killers once again. Be a fighter!

Michelle said...

I am so sorry. My prayers are with your Mom and with you.
Keep on with that positive attitude, you will both need it.
(((hugs)))

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm so sorry to hear that the cancer has returned. That is heartbreaking, but you are right. Not even cancer can kill the love between parent and child. That you are there with her and giving your all is the best she could hope for (would be for me, at least). My best, warmest thoughts are with you all.

sAm said...

....my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time...

cw2smom said...

I am soooo sorry to hear of the health problems facing your Mother! She's soooo young! I lost my mother at that very age and it rocked me to my soul. Here's praying that the chemo will do its job and fight the invader! Sounds like your Mom is strong and full of calm and faith! Blessings and loving thoughts as you all go through this together! Lisa

Anonymous said...

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everything that can be crossed is...

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