A Bit of Laura Jayne

I Made the Book

2009-08-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

So we are up in Idyllwild at my parent's home for the weekend. Mom is doing much better. The chemo has begun to do its work. She has had a host of secondary issues but nothing that the doctors so far can't deal with.

The last time we were up here hubby and I went to the pottery shop to spend a few hours painting. There is not a lot to do up here so it has become a bit of a ritual. It was a Sunday so my mom went and picked up our work the next day after they fired in the kiln. When Mom called me that afternoon to tell me she had picked up our stuff she said, "Oh, they made me wait, they wanted to take a picture of your plate for the book." Weeeee.... they have a book on the counter of items done by people that they consider good enough to share that might inspire others to get creative. I will be very vain here and say... I always wanted to be in the book. :)

25 Questions - 24 & 25

2009-07-23T17:23:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Yes... have been bad this week at finishing these up. Been super crazy at work and tooooooo hot here at home. Find I have no energy at all. But here are the last two and that will be the end of these 25. If you have used any of them as prompts for your blog would love for you to comment and offer a link.

Question #24 ~

How would you like to die?

Gracefully. Oh, and I really want Van Morrison's Moondance album for my funeral music.

Question #25 ~

What is your motto?

Be happy, worry only when necessary, love a lot, be kind, try something new, dance everyday.

(Okay, lots of little motto's, but hey, it is my blog.)

25 Questions - 23

2009-07-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #23 ~

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would like to be able to play beautiful music... guitar, piano... something lovely. But like asking what I would change about myself this is probably doable. Lots of time, a bit of money and tons of practice. Not sure I want it that badly. So for now, I will tune in my radio to classic for the drive home and smile at other's wonderful talent.

25 Questions - 21 & 22

2009-07-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #21 ~

What is it that you most dislike?

When people say, "I am not judging you, but..."

Question #22 ~

What is your greatest regret?

If you regret something that implies you want something changed, done different. And while there are many things in my life I could have and some I should have done different, the chain reaction to any going back is just too monumental to imagine. So I try to learn from my mistakes and consider them lessons that were necessary, bumps in my path and consider how to do better in the future and try to the best of my ability to avoid regrets.

25 Questions - 20

2009-07-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #20 ~

What historical figure do you most identify with?

I have racked my brain searching for a historical figure to identify with... got nothing.

If anyone knows a slightly underpaid bookkeeper mother with four kids who sometimes wrote and painted on occasion, had a few close friends and a husband she adored who was a historical figure just let me know so I can edit this answer.

25 Questions - 19

2009-07-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

My friends in my writing group. Every month we get together and inspire each other to be creative. A simple prompt during the meeting, or they might bring something they have written since we last met to share, but they are all amazing writers and friends.

And the wonderful friends I have made since I began my Pictures, Poetry & Prose blog project. Every single day I am astounded at how talented the writers are that offer up their writing at PP&P to the beautiful images I am privileged to share there.

Oh yeah, and Harper Lee. I had an anonymous post once at PP&P that I could swear was her. Hey, she might blog, you never know.

25 Questions - 18

2009-07-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #18 ~

What is your most marked characteristic?

Well I just don't like this one at all. Maybe I should do a quasi-scientific survey of friends and acquaintances and see what the response is. Wonder what my children would say? Wonder what Hubby would say, or my mom? I just really am not enjoying offering my own answer.

First it seems a bit redundant after quite a few of the other answers previously. I have offered my empathy and my love of Hubby and kids, but that is probably not a marked characteristic is it? Secondly, I really want to find a positive and upbeat answer. Oh wait, upbeat and positive... I am to a fault... optimistic. Often according to a couple friends, annoyingly so.

There you go, optimism... my glass is brimming full most all of the time.

25 Questions - 17

2009-07-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #17 ~

What is your favorite occupation?

Merriam says -
Main Entry: oc·cu·pa·tion
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English occupacioun, from Anglo-French occupaciun, from Latin occupation-, occupatio, from occupare
Date: 14th century
1 a: an activity in which one engages b: the principal business of one's life : vocation2 a: the possession, use, or settlement of land : occupancy b: the holding of an office or position3 a: the act or process of taking possession of a place or area : seizure b: the holding and control of an area by a foreign military force c: the military force occupying a country or the policies carried out by it.

So, by the first definition I would say my favorite occupation is writing. Well, not technically true all the time, sometimes it really stinks, is hard pushing toward impossible. Other times, I can write a single sentence that makes my heart leap for joy and occasionally a poem or a short story feels so good going from brain to fingers to paper that it is wonderful.

Now as far as the principal business of one's life definition... for the past 16 years I have been a bookkeeper. I never meant to be a bookkeeper, it just sort of happened to me... like catching a virus. But I seem to do it decently, and they keep paying me to do it. But as for favorite it is a bit like saying your only cousin is your favorite cousin even though that cousin is the one who gave you wedgies as a kid, or tattled on you. They are your favorite only because you have no other choice.

I took possession of my house 12 years ago. It is small, and often a bit messy, the kitchen needs updating, and the upstairs bathroom sometimes has issues, but it is mine, the payment for my taking possession is reasonable and it is home.

Hmmm... by military force... oh, wait, once in fourth grade the girls stormed the boys' tree fort and for one glorious day we were conquerors. Then they took it back the next day.

25 Questions - 16

2009-07-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #16 ~

What is your most treasured possession?

Lately it has been Henry. My laptop computer. As it allows me to express myself in many different ways. Although paper and pen work well too where that is concerned. Henry is named Henry because it seemed to fit nicely. I connect with friends with Henry's help. I have made wonderful new friends with Henry's help. I help to inspire others to write and that fills my heart with joy.

Ask this question a month from now it might have a different answer, but today Henry is treasured.

25 Questions - 15

2009-07-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

25 Questions - 14

2009-07-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #14 ~

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

When I shared this question with a friend he rolled his eyes and said it was too much like a bad job interview question. So I have been racking my brain trying to come up with a non-cliche' answer, like my children or my marriage (all quite significant achievements).

Greatest implies that I have done anything great. I haven't done much that would be on the radar as great. Hmmm... won a writing contest once, that felt nice at the time, but probably not spectacular enough for even great let alone greatest. I have come to be at peace with my very long toes and now get them pedicured and wear open toed sandals regularly. Well, I mean if you knew how much I hated them when I was a kid you might think that was great. Oh, maybe my driving on the freeway. Yeah, I know I live in Southern California near impossible not to drive on the freeway. But this was once a HUGE fear for me, pushing toward panic attack, and I have had really worked hard to overcome it. I can drive into Los Angeles now if the need arises. Huge deal for me, but probably not great.

Sorry, my greatest achievements... my beautiful, happy, healthy children and my fun and happy hubby.

25 Questions - 13

2009-06-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #13 ~

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

This is a tricky question because every answer I consider is really doable. So if I really wanted it to change I should get up off my lazy bottom and excersise more, eat less, eat healthy, be more confident when talking to others, finish my book, take more chances with my carreer, speak my mind more, not let my boss treat me so poorly, be a better housekeeper, cook more meals at home, etc... etc.. but each change requires effort, and more than that... change. And change has never been my strong suit.

25 Questions - 12

2009-06-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

The moment they put my son in my arms 22 years ago tomorrow.

The moment they put my daughter in my arms 20 years ago.

Snuggled inside a sleeping bag next to Dan on the bank of the Colorado river deep in the Grand Canyon under a blanket of stars.

Sitting on a pristine white beach in Cabo San Lucas with my toes in the sand and the sun just setting and Dan kissed me.

Standing in front of my minister uncle in our backyard in the moment he said you may kiss the bride.

This morning when he kissed me goodbye to go to work.

And 1,000,000 more small and big events. Happy is easy.

No 25 Questions this weekend...

2009-06-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

So we drove up to the mountains to visit my parents, but I forgot and left the list of 25 questions on my nightstand. So I will have to get going again tomorrow.

So in the meantime pictures from Aimee and Kyle's wedding...

25 Questions - 11

2009-06-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Question #11 ~

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My husband. He is my forever and eternity.

25 Questions - 10

2009-06-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Question #10 ~

What do you most value in your friends?

Ok, this is going to sound a bit stupid, but I most value their friendship.

People come and go in your life. Friendships rise and fall, woosh at the beginning then fade a bit after time. Some friends you may not talk to for weeks, months, years and yet when you come back together sometimes it is like you were never apart. Yet others you pass by at the mall or grocery store just by coincidence and you barely say hello. There was no fight, no big breakup just life changes and so sometimes friendships falter.

So what I value is the immediate and what positive things a person brings into my life at the moment. Do I hope some friends will still be with me when I am old and grey (ok, grey-er, but the box of red fixes that issue still) of course, but I know the odds aren't with me. So I laugh and enjoy their friendship while I have it. I give truly of myself and try to not hold back the real me. I know misunderstandings will happen and I try to live by the Golden Rule and treat every friend like I hope they will treat me.

So, I value most in my friends their friendship.

(Picture of me and my very good friend Kay from... OMG... about 9-10 years ago now... and yes, we are still friends, and I value it so very much.)

25 Questions - 9

2009-06-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #9 ~

Which living person do you most despise?

Myself for hugging my husband's ex-wife at the wedding yesterday. Sighhh... she damn well took me by surprise. She spent the last siXteen years making my life hell at every opportunity she had. I have had a thousand conversations with her in my own head, calling her on the carpet for the hundreds of things that hurt those in my family.

But I smiled and hugged back (the first hug EVER in 16 years, for that matter I can count the words she has spoke to me before the wedding on one hand)... and felt just miserable for it. It is sometimes hard to just let go of anger and unhappiness even for the sake of peace and your child's happiness. But I did it, but still... despise for today... myself.

25 Questions - 8

2009-06-23T23:08:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #8 ~

What do you dislike most about your appearence?

The back of my left knee... have one mole there that I don't care for.

25 Questions - 7

2009-06-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #7 ~

On what occasion do you lie?

Mmmmm... this cake is delicious.
Yes, I like your new purse.
I am (cough, sniffle, cough) sick and can't come in to work today. (I only use this one about once every couple of years.)
Oh, she is the cutest baby.
Yes, I love the pants you got me for my birthday, the flower print is pretty.

Charitable deductions... (no actually never have done this one, I can't lie to the IRS... that would just be too stressful.)

Really, when the truth would just be hurtful and the lie is white. It is a squiggly line sometimes, but I try to be as honest as I can.

Father's Day

2009-06-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

They took their dad out for lunch. Three of the four children (the other had work issues). I love this picture as it is so full of all I love, my husband Dan and Aimee, Matthew and Jessica.

25 Questions - 6

2009-06-21T19:44:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while I was getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #6 ~

What is your current state of mind?
Worry.

Our daughter informed us on Thursday that her boyfriend asked her to marry him (he is home on two weeks leave from the Navy). The first leave that they have spent together as a couple as all their previous being together has been online. They are getting married on Tuesday.

I am worried. Worried that my beautiful 23 year old daughter is making a what may be mistake and worried at the rush. We have expressed all these worries to her in this very brief time she has given us to digest and respond and try to make sense out of this. She is an adult and seems to be making an adult decision, and I will hope for the best in all of this. She is in love and in love there is always hope.

25 Questions - 5

2009-06-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

What is your greatest extravagance?

Pedicures. I love to get pedicures and when life has been particularly stressfull I love to get expensive pedicures with scrubs that smell lovley and hot oil and hot towels and parafin and anything else the girl wants to suggest.

25 Questions - 4

2009-06-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

25 questions from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while getting a pedicure. I invite anyone to answer with me these questions, here as a comment or on your own blog and leave me a link/note.

Question #4 ~

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Absence of empathy.

25 Questions - 3

2009-06-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

Question #3 of my 25 from an interview found in the back of Vanity Fair while getting a pedicure.

Question #3 ~

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Wow... deplore... that is kind of potent word. I spent hours thinking on this one. I try to please people too much, often to my own detriment. But, it also means I am someone who cares passionately about others. I take on hobbies and immerse myself for months, and then can let them go. Hubby says he doesn't understand this about me, but I just love trying new things and sometimes they stay with me for a lifetime (writing and painting) and sometimes I get my fill and flutter off to something else, but I don't think this is a trait to deplore. I am not terribly good with change when it will effect my level of personal comfort. I think this is something worth working on when it comes to my job. But I make a decent living that lets me have a comfortable life and so am willing to put up with a few things that I don't like for that comfort. This too isn't something to deplore, but more simply understand about myself.

I am a bit of a snack-a-holic... put a bag of chips in front of me and my hand seems to have its very own mind. I wouldn't mind having this trait a bit more under control. But I do love salty and sweet and bad for me, so I don't entirely deplore this.

Nope... nothing to deplore today.

25 Questions - 2

2009-06-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

So a bit of an edit. I just looked at the bottom of the page (as I had ripped it out of the magazine) it is acutally an interview from Vanity Fair magazine. But still I like the questions and so I still will answer one question a day for the next 25 days in order to get motivated to write again. Some answers may be short, maybe others whole essays. I am not sure and am only going to focus on one a day. I invite you to join me by commenting here answering these questions yourself or on your blog and letting me know with a link.

Question #2 ~

What is your greatest fear?

I fear other people's emotions. When I was a child I would take in my parents anger and unhappiness real or percieved and near to drown in it. Other's people pain seemed to seep into me in ways I thought I had no control over. This trait of mine I have worked hard over the many years of my life to turn into something that doesn't overwhelm and isn't a negative. It is still a daily struggle to not let other's negative emotions become mine. A friend in a bad mood and I have to work hard to not take their pain into me. My parents are no longer frightening to me as I can see their pains and struggles and not let the emotions of that overwhelm my own. Empathy is what allows us to be good and right, but when it kicks into overdrive as it has for a lot of my life it can be crippling.

25 Questions - 1

2009-06-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

I saw this interview in the back of the May Sunset magazine. I thought I would answer one question a day for the next 25 days in order to get motivated to write again. Some answers may be short, maybe others whole essays. I am not sure and am only going to focus on one a day. I invite you to join me by commenting here answering these questions yourself or on your blog and letting me know with a link.

Question #1 ~

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Well now, that is just an easy one to start out with isn't it! Can you be perfectly happy? The stresses of life are all around all the time. My mother is very sick with cancer. Money is always an issue. I worry about my children (23, 22, 20, 20) and the choices or lack of choices they are making. My job does not make me happy. And yet, there was a moment last night, just Hubby and me were home watching TV, Two and a Half Men was on and Charlie and Jake were tossing coins against a wall. I questioned the game and Hubby laughed at me... "Haven't you ever pitched pennies?" It wasn't ten minutes later that we were out front of my house each with a handful of pennies tossing them at the curb. And laughing, lovely full figured tummy laughs. He won, but I took two games after I got the technique down. In that moment I was perfectly happy. The stresses of life are still there, of course they are, but I allowed the happiness to flow. I took the moment and just was happy.

I think when we allow happiness it will always be perfect. Little or big, pitching pennies or holding your child in your arms for the first time... it doesn't matter, it just needs to be accepted.

(For those who are as naive as I was about this "game"... all you do is toss the pennies to the curb, closest penny wins, we played best out of five... though hubby said he would hustle the kids for lunch money in grade school with this game and usually ended up tossing quarters.)

Back from Vacation

2009-05-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico.

The resort was gorgeous. We swam and relaxed. Just lovely.

The beach and ocean were breath takingly beautiful.

I did a whole lot of this, just being lazy.

Glad to have had the time away. Glad to be home.

Falling Words

2009-04-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

And the words slip from me,
joy and passion and happiness.

Do you want to feel with me?
Do you need to share with me?

And the touches of reality
are lost in the spaces between
the falling words...

The only things I feel anymore
are the heartbeats too erratic
and a breath that comes labored.

Ache upon ache, only to be split apart,
only to be rent.

I know that time will be
the tale worth telling
but by what measurement will it be?

Share with me
Feel with me
Free me from this

And I slip away
quietly.

On Mom...

2009-04-15T04:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt much like writing. And mom being a writer too she is probably disappointed in me for that. Times of struggle are times to write, to express the emotions that are swirling, to sort out the chaos of your mind with pencil and paper. But this cancer scared the holy crap out of me as it snuck back into our lives. Mom is healthy, she eats better than me, she gets more exercise than me, she is young, she is at peace living on her mountain volunteering her time for half a dozen committees that do community service... she should not be sick.

But she is.

But the first round of chemo has been pumped into her body. She had to stay in the hospital for it for seven days as her platelets were to low to surgically put the pump in her chest that would have allowed her to stay at home and have the chemo administered that way. Nearly every day I call and talk to her. She is back home on her mountain again resting, eating well, healing, letting the chemotherapy do what it is supposed to do. In a couple weeks she will have another round, eventually 5-6 rounds of chemo. He blood numbers say it is doing what it is supposed to, but no real results will come for quite a while. The waiting is difficult. But life and healing can take time.

Thank you to all who wished me well here and via email. Your support really does mean so very much to me. And for my mom I will try and write more the next few weeks about living more than this as Mom is more about living than this pesky cancer any day.

Love and peace to you all as you all give me back the same.

LJ

Of Waldenstrom's macro-globulinemia

2009-03-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Waldenstrom's macro-globulinemia has come back ten years after being pushed from my mother's body. She is young (now 58) and healthy and happy. And it has come back and taken her health with a vengence. Do you think it has a memory, it is a living thing seeking revenge for us trying to kill it ten years ago? She is in the hospital. The cancer is stopping her bones from making blood and so every moment when blood cells do what cells do in your body do and they die they are not being replaced with new cells. And the cancer is trying so very hard to kill her. The chemo will try very hard to kill the cancer. Again.

I can barely breath for the worry of it. It is so ominous, so horrendous to even consider. My mother is strong. My mother is a warrior. My mother is fighting this with a calm and peace that it amazing. She will take the poisonous chemo into her body and allow it to attack the cancer. I will try to offer her calm and peace and all my love as she does battle with this killer.

I can not comprehend a life without my mother in it. She is a force that is central to everything. And yet this returning cancer is wrapping its tentacles around our lives in the most insidious way. I will love her every moment with all my heart, for a moment is sometimes all we have. A thousand moments you take for granted or a single moment that you treasure and hold onto with all your might. They are gift afforded us by hope and sometime hindsight. I love my mother, she knows this. My mother loves me, I know this. The cancer has no power even as it does it worst for it can never kill our love.

New Boyfriend

2009-03-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your kind thoughts about my silly back injury. Glad to report it is all better. Work has been crazy busy, mostly because I work for a crazy boss who chews up and spits out the woman we find willing to do the front office position. They do a lot of typing and work directly for him and he is hard to please. Another one has been fired and still not sure what exactly was wrong. So I have to wade through another mile high stack of resumes and try to find the perfect fit that won't go running, crying her eyes out after three days. He just wants exactly what he wants when he wants it, which is a boss' perogative. Just finding the right person who can give it to him is a challenge.

On a personal note I think I have found a guy to throw off my husband for. Yes, Hubby is great, loves me, takes great care of me, is caring and warm, affectionate and fun. But come on... he isn't yellow and balding, and who could resist that?

Oh, Homer... let's go have a Duff and a donut....

Mmmmmm... donut.

Dumb Injury

2009-03-03T11:16:00.001-08:00

So I couldn't decide where to post this post. I mean, I am in pain so I thought perhaps Despair, Devastation & Dysfunction but that seems a bit to melodramatic for this bit of stupidness. So I thought to come to you for my sympathy. I have hurt my back. At 8:07 this morning (and I know the time only because my boss had asked me the time at 8:06 and this happened one minute later) I sneezed. Just an ordinary sneeze... achhhooo... bless you.... ohhhh crap. The pain raditated from that spot just above the bottom and felt like a fire was burning. And I began to cuss, and cuss some more.

The phone rang, I had to take the call. I am sure the person on the other end was wondering if I was having an erotic sexual experience as I gasped and my breathing grew labored. But alas nothing enjoyable about this stupid sneezing back aching injury. Just pain and more pain. And it isn't even like you can expect any real sympathy as in the telling people they just start laughing.

So I will keep taking asprin, and when I get home turn on the heating pad. But in the mean time... owwwwww.

Hey you... stop laughing.

Cliché Incorporated

2009-02-27T11:56:00.001-08:00

Written as a response to a prompt to be as cliche'd as possible.

_________________________________________

The ball was in her court and Brenda knew she could talk the talk and walk the walk because this time she had thought outside the box and was pushing the envelope and now she was on a stepping stone to broaden her horizons, yes, she now could see the big picture. At her interview she had gone the extra mile, hadn’t beat around the bush as she had cast her net while going forward with their dog and pony show. Now Brenda had a decisively categorical game plan and at the culmination of this new day her end goal was that they would know she had hit the ground running. This new job was a building block that would dovetail with her strategy to become a head honcho. Not like her preceding job where she had not covered all her bases and had left no fallback position when she had pushed a paradigm shift and in the end she had burned her bridge when she had not kept her boss in loop in what she had thought was a no brainer.

Brenda’s take no prisoners attitude had left a bad taste in their mouths and she had been unable to do damage control and now she knew she had been wrong to put all her eggs in one basket because she had had to pay the piper a pretty penny. But after that debacle she had put her ducks back in a row, moved her goal posts and now she was in the zone, she was moving forward. Her slate was clean and it was time to put her finger in the pie of productivity, work to the program even if that meant she would have to slave for Mr. Big 24/7. She would be proactive, performant and come out shooting with both barrels while she kept her eye on the prize. Brenda opened the door to her future and pressed the flesh at the meet and greet and as she and the current BMOC talked shop she knew she had squared the circle and everything was back on track.

Yes, Brenda knew she had finally and truly found her niche here at Cliché Incorporated.

Hollywood Tourist

2009-02-24T05:44:00.000-08:00

I have lived in California since I was twelve. Funny I have never done the Hollywood touristy thing until this past weekend. We were with some friends who had a friend in from out of town and we all ended up going into LA and walking down Hollywood Blvd. Looked at the stars on the sidewalk. It was Saturday so they were setting up the red carpet for the Oscars. That was fun to see in person.

Stopped at the Chinese Theater and did the stand in the star's footprint thing. Look my feet are exactly the same size as a duck's. :) If you ever come to California let me know, we will do something touristy together.... or the ultimate Hollywood thing... We'll do lunch.

Valentine's Day Conversation

2009-02-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

This was written from a writing challenge at group where the goal was to write with no he said/she said tags. It was a fun little piece to work out.

______________________________

“Nathan?”
“Yes, my darling Julia.”
“Do you know what day it is?”
“Oh, that’s always a dangerous question. I didn’t forget our anniversary did I?”
“No, that was two months ago.”
“Did I miss your birthday?”
“No, don’t you remember, you quoted me that wonderfully romantic poem you composed. Much better than any flowers or candy could ever be now.”
“Well, than I’m sorry my love, I do not know what day it is. What have I forgotten?”
“It’s Valentine’s Day, Nathan. Our first date all those many, many, many years ago.”
“Oh, Sweet Pea how could I have forgotten that?”
“Do you remember where we went Nathan?”
“Of course, I remember everything about that day. I took you to Seaside Park. You were the prettiest girl there.”
“Oh, you always say the nicest things.”
“Well, you were. You wore that white sundress and flowers in your hair. I was quite smitten you know?”
“Oh, and you … so very handsome. And so nervous. Well, I guess we both were nervous. Blind dates seldom work out quite as well as ours.”
“And you insisted we ride the coaster five times if I remember correctly.”
“No, I believe it was six.”
“You always did love a thrill my sweetness.”
“You’re the biggest thrill in my life Nathan.”
“What would I do without you?”
“Well, probably not much. These golden years are certainly not very exciting. But we do have each other.”
“Yes, and that is all I have needed these years. When you and I made the decision I thought perhaps that I might grow bored, but living without you was not, is not, ever an option. I have never been bored with you.”
“Oh Nathan, I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Darling Julia, I love you more and more every moment we are together. Happy Valentine’s Day to you.”
“Nathan, do you remember the time we…..”

___________________

Forevercorp, Inc.
Med-Journal Entry #0088826 –
Date 2/14/2399 – Time 14:39
Adora Sung / Cerebral Mainline Technician
Both subjects na998/male and ju999/female are stable and functioning at peak levels. Routine fluid replacement on na998/male subject was performed at 08:30 with no noticeable adverse reaction from subject. Both subjects continue to interact at optimal levels. At 13:30 ju999/female had a brief displacement of electrical current that if allowed to continue could cause overloading in na998/male’s centerline. Recommend rewiring of ju999/female’s cerebral cortex main line within the next month. Both subjects will need to be rewired simultaneously to avoid any possible contamination with core cerebral circuits.

______________________

Adora Sung looked up to the shelf directly in front of her at the two brains floating in plexi-glass containers of fluorescent green hydro-liquid. The compuscreen to her left continued to reflect their loving conversation and Adora felt suddenly as if she was eavesdropping. Cataloging their forty-three years worth of printouts had been her first job at Forevercorp. She had grown to know all there was to know about Nathan and Julia’s love and yet the tenderness of it still touched her. Reaching up she flicked off the monitor as she pushed the button for the vidphone to call Jerome. She needed to tell him she loved him, after all it was Valentine’s Day.

Ahhhh... lovely vacation

2009-02-16T19:05:00.000-08:00

Monday and Tuesday in the mountains in the snow.

Thursday and Friday on the ocean in the sun.

We had a lovely time.

Lazy days, eating too much, doing very little. A perfect four days.

Free... finally

2009-02-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

And on Tuesday this is the beauty we woke up to.

And these icicles were amazing on the eve of the house.

But all this snow meant a lot of shoveling to get the cars out of the driveway...

... three hours later we were finally on the road... the treacherous road down the mountain.

And at last bare pavement. Yea... then back to work.... boo.

Now, we are off for a short cruise from San Diego to

Ensenada, Mexico for the Valentine's weekend. Talk about contrast. :)

And Still More Snow...

2009-02-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

Had to call work and tell them that we are still on the mountain. The snow is predicted all day. Not quite sure when we will be able to drive down.

I really don't like mountain driving on the clear sunny days. This has me a bit anxious.

And Even More Snow

2009-02-08T10:18:00.000-08:00

The snow keeps coming down and down and down. Hubby says we will be able to drive home, down off the mountain, this afternoon, but I am not so sure.

But I did take the opportunity to finish the little dragonfly paintings for my sister's newly remodeled bathroom.

A Beautiful Day in the Mountains

2009-02-07T08:30:00.000-08:00

Up at my parent's in the mountains of Southern California. Love waking up to the snow. I know many of you are suffering though a long cold winter, but this is a treat for me.

Wow, what a morning...

2009-02-06T08:10:00.000-08:00

This was my drive this morning. Forgive the blurry, but this was going 85 MPH down a California freeway. The sky was amazing. We had a rain last night and into this morning. Going down one freeway there was blue sky off to the left and dark clouds on the right, this is heading south.

Then I made the transition to the west bound freeway so the sun was rising behind me and I was driving towards the dark clouds. And this amazing double rainbow appeared. It was so beautiful. I hoped it would still be visible by the time I got to work just 4 1/2 minutes later so I could capture the whole thing in a series of pictures and stitch them together for you, but sadly the rain started to pour and the sky turned so dark. But for a brief moment this morning, there was magic.

Sweet Whispers on the Wind

2009-02-04T15:05:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who thought she knew of kindness. She went merrily about her day, offering little hellos and how do you dos. She would trip lightly from one person to another sharing the bright parts of her day with those she met. She thought they cared for her, as she cared for them, but she didn't really see that all only thought of themselves and what they could take from her. They would only want bits and pieces of her, never really caring for what was true in her.

One day walking through a meadow she met the quiet man. He was dark and sad in a way she hadn't seen before. She thought here is a new friend, another to share bright parts of her, and the more she gave in the beginning, the farther he seemed to pull away from her. She didn't understand this. She gave and she gave but the quiet man stayed on the very edge of her happiness and didn't seem to want to take and take like the others. This confused her more and more.

Then one day quite by accident she discovered the magic of the quiet man. She sat in a meadow where she knew he would walk by, she was hoping to see him, to give him something bright and pretty, to entice him to take from her as that was all she knew. The sun was bright in the afternoon sky and she moved to the edge of the meadow and sat quietly waiting, her back against a tree enjoying it cooling shade, the sweet grass thick around her legs, the small sounds soothing to her. Soon she was asleep, and that was how the quiet man found her. And he looked down at her and felt all she wanted to give, but he knew a better way. And he sat and picked a single wee flower and waited for her to wake. When she did she smiled at him as he sat silently next to her, and he smiled back and blew the flower, the white fluff of a dandelion gently to her and as each floating seed caught the breeze and floated past her she heard his words of love and caring and hope and every secret he ever held tight to.

From that moment on she and the quiet man were together, they needed no words just sweet whispers on the wind. She didn't have to give pieces of herself for he held all of her heart with a single breath. He didn't need to be silent any longer for she heard everything he wanted to say.

And they lived happily ever after

Lovely

2009-02-03T05:22:00.001-08:00

How lovely to recieve such a lovely award from Miss Pienovski. Thank you!

So to pass on the lovely love I offer this award to...

Simply Heather

~ Denise ~

cw2smom

Roger

Each one of these blogs I so love to visit and read. Thank you for all being so lovely creative and making my day better.

Sun Block

2009-02-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

I rub the lotion
across his tiny shoulders
then down small soft limbs,
not missing an inch
of arms or legs.
The swell of belly,
pushed out
in that gentle way
of a toddler,
and the small bend
of his back,
all get a coat
of slippery white.
Around the sweet curves
of tiny ears
and plump little cheeks
then the tip
of his nose,
all are protected.
Fingers and toes
are the last
to be covered.
And then he knows
he can
slip from between
my hands
to run headlong
into the surf
laughing out loud
in the carefree
joyous way
of a child
who never doubts
that he is
protected
by love
and so
has no fear
of anything.

And I know
in that moment
I will never stop
worrying
about everything.

Offered for the Gold Puppy Blog Fourth Annual (Silent) Poetry Reading.

(Silent) Poetry Reading

2009-02-02T00:02:00.000-08:00

At the Gold Puppy Blog the Fourth Annual!!

What?
A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

When?
Anytime February 2, 2009

Where?
Your blog

Why?
Some poetry is warming. It cracks the ice in the heart of the Earth to remind her that spring is just around the corner. Or ... if you live south of the equator, choose poetry to cool the heart of the Earth so as to remind her fall is coming.

How?
Select a poem you like - by a favorite poet or one of your own - to post February 2nd.

What else?
Feel free to pass this invitation on to any and all bloggers.

When will I post mine?
Oh, about 7 in the morning.

Happy Groundhog Day

2009-02-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

According to an old English song:If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Come, Winter, have another flight;
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Go Winter, and come not again.

According to an old Scotch couplet:
If Candlemas Day is bright and clear,
There'll be twa (two) winters in the year.

Another variation of the Scottish rhyme:
If Candlemas day be dry and fair,
The half o' winter to come and mair,
If Candlemas day be wet and foul,
The half of winter's gone at Yule.

The Roman legions, during the conquest of the northern country, supposedly brought this tradition to the Teutons, or Germans, who picked it up and concluded that if the sun made an appearance on Candlemas Day, an animal, the hedgehog, would cast a shadow, thus predicting six more weeks of bad weather, which they interpolated as the length of the "Second Winter."

Pennsylvania's earliest settlers were Germans and they found groundhogs to in profusion in many parts of the state. They determined that the groundhog, resembling the European hedgehog, was a most intelligent and sensible animal and therefore decided that if the sun did appear on February 2nd, so wise an animal as the groundhog would see its shadow and hurry back into its underground home for another six weeks of winter.

Information from the official Groundhog Day site - http://www.groundhog.org/

Super Super Bowl

2009-02-01T21:04:00.000-08:00

Wow... what a fantastic game. Right down to the wire. The underdog made a great showing. The quarterbacks were fantastic. The score was close the whole game. In the end Big Ben's amazing pass to Holmes, who's catch was equally as amazing, made for a fantastic fourth quarter. Final score 27-23 Steelers.

The other big part of the game has become commercial watching. This was my favorite...

Not Even 30 Days

2009-01-31T05:52:00.000-08:00

I visited a new blog yesterday My Voice, My View after she had posted at Pictures, Poetry & Prose (welcome septembermom). She had a post about seeking places for publication for her poetry. So, I offered one magazine that I liked with a link as a comment to her post. That got me thinking (always a bad thing) that maybe I could continue to help motivate writers by creating a blog offering a daily post of a writing market, writing contest, writing article or other writing related motivation. Of course I also thought, who the hell do I think I am. But you know, I think anything that helps motivate and encourage others to succeed is a worthwhile venture. Yes, there are many resources out there and available on the net, but maybe my little blog will be the one that you come to once a day, once a week, once a month and find a new place to offer your writing. Maybe it will become a positive habit in your life and you will find that you begin writing more, submitting more and finding pleasure and success in a way that you desire. That would be wonderful. If we don't reach out we can never touch another life.

So, yes, I did it and Places to Publish is now born. It has only been 24 days since I started my last blog. That is it, I swear to Buddha not another blog for a month. LOL... Well, each blog is different and unique from the other. They each have a function, a purpose and a place in my heart.

Yeah, yeah... I am just trying to justify my addiction and that I am sure this is not healthy behavior.

But I really like this new one. It is just that so many of the bloggers and writer friends I know and I enjoy write so very wonderfully and I know could be published in print if that was something they desired to pursue.

At Places to Publish I am also posting each Friday a challenge to maybe spur on some people to take the plunge and offer their little babies to the cold cruel world. I hope if you are motivated in any way you will leave a comment. My good friend Kay likes to say about submitting for publication, "just throw it in an envelope and throw it in the mailbox." It is so true, you have to submit and keep submitting and you will find success (writing well helps too, but you already do that).

And I promise not another blog for 30+ days or I am joining a twelve step group. Bloggers Anonymous. Hello, my name is Laura Jayne and I am a blogger.

Painting in Big Bear

2009-01-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

Power to Stop

2009-01-28T11:18:00.000-08:00

I thought the prompt at The One Minute Writer today was particularly thought provoking. If you were all-powerful, would you stop all war? If so, how?

_______________________________

If I gave you the ability to feel another's physical pain you would still cut him down for your rightous cause.

If I gave you the ability to know another thoughts and fears you would use that to your advantage and magnify his fears for your desires to be fulfilled.

If I gave you the curse to suffer the mental anguish of another man's loss of family and home you would say it was justified to the ends you desire and shake it off like blanket that is too hot and smothering.

We, all men, already know the pain we inflict. We already know how those we decide to hate suffer and fear as we slash and burn. We see their grief, we feel it inside, as they tear their hair and weep out their despair as a child lays dieing in the street. It hasn't stopped, it will not stop for man can justify anything for a cause he believes to be true. Religion, land, wealth, a way of life, freedom, opression, we will always find a reason that makes our hearts and minds numb to others.

No God can stop it. And so He feels our suffering, He knows our fears, aches for our loss of innocence. He weeps bitter tears every moment of every day.

Using Your Words for Good

2009-01-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

Nearly every day I send a text message to my husband between 9:15 and 9:30 in the morning as I know this is his break time. I send a few quick words to let him know I am thinking of him, loving him, proud of him. I try and come up with a little something that I think will make him smile.

When my grandfather was alive, once a month my daughter would write a letter to him. She would let him know how and what she was doing in college and how his financial support has contributed to our ability as a family to put her through college. These letters were a small thank you for that generosity.

When I read a column by Rick Reilly in Sports Illustrated about the tremendous good a simple bed net can do in certain malaria infested zones of Africa. I wrote a check for $20 to the group NothingButNets.org, but I also wrote an email to several friends sharing what I thought was a real and tangible way to save a life, to do something good.

Today I wrote an e-card message and sent it to my best-friend just to let her know what her friendship means to me. I wrote a sticky-note thank you to a coworker when something she did made my job a little easier.

My friend, Kay joined a letter writing campaign started by several animal rights groups to a pomegranate juice company. It seems that POM was using a lab that tested on animals, killing them in the process. And eventually they issued a statement saying they would cease using that particular lab and find a place that is no-kill.

The common thread here… even the littlest words have power. Most of you reading this are writers, and all of you write. Sometimes our lives get a bit overwhelmed and we may not have the time to write those 1,500 words a day on our new novel that we had hoped. Stop fretting about that and do what you can. Use your words for good. Share a bit of love with someone. Write a letter to your grandparent or mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter. Write a note to your friend inviting them out for a coffee or tea. Write an email to your local congressional representative about something that concerns you or to a company that is doing something unjust that needs correcting. Write a comment to me letting me know anything you want me to know. The big projects will get done eventually if you persevere, but don’t let the thought of what you haven’t done yet engulf your life. Do what you can when you can. Even small sentences can make a difference. Watch...

I love you.

Red Sky at Morning

2009-01-22T10:18:00.000-08:00

The prompt at MammaKat this week -

4.) Share the best picture you took

last month and explain why it's your favorite.

So here is a shot I thought was amazing. Yes, it is not in perfect focus, but oh my, look at that sky. I love this time of year when I leave for work right before sunrise. This is about a block from my house and I was driving about 40 mph and had to roll the window down to get a shot, find my camera in my purse and take the shot before running the red light. I thought the men on the roof there made the shot even more interesting.

Me & More Me

2009-01-18T11:44:00.001-08:00

I Am: a contradictory juxtaposition of complications... really... I am

I Want: often... today I want to go for a bike ride, but hubby is sick, suppose I could go by myself, but that isn't much fun

I Have: too many little dogs who misbehave... have to stop going to the pound, such a sucker for their poor little sad faces

I Wish: every day... something different, today's... hmmm... haven't made it yet

I Fear: this post will be cliché or just annoying... go ahead, you can tell me, I will only cry a little

I Hear: hubby snoring... poor sick baby with a snuffly nose

I Search: for clean clothes... maybe I should wish for a laundry elf

I Wonder: how long I will have to put up with Norv Turner as coach for my Chargers... yes, MY... if you are a fan, they are always My team

I Regret: that third cinnamon roll this morning... so didn't need that extra one, yeah, ok, extra two

I Love: all the time... and easily, and sincerely, and completely

I Always: take every kiss offered to me... and hubby is good at offering kisses

I Usually: forgive... holding onto hate is too much effort

I Am Not: meant to be thin... hubby likes my bottom, I like hubby, seems to work better than that diet

I Dance: every single day... one of my wedding vows

I Sing: so very badly... except when I have had those Long Island Iced Teas and someone says... ohhh, let's Karaoke, I know I sing so great then

I Never: have sky dived, mountain climbed, scuba dived... but I would

I Rarely: frown ... I like being happy

I Cry: when my children hurt... but they are strong and independent so far, so good

I Am Not Always: what I seem... but only because some only see what they want me to be

I’m Confused: not at the moment... but maybe tomorrow will be stranger

I Need: not a whole lot, life is decently good... knock on wood

I Should: do some laundry... but really think I can put it off for just a bit more

You and more you... what are your answers? Do let me know if you post this meme on your blog.

Thank you to Heather for her wonderful answers to all of these on her blog was an interesting challenge to take on.

Fire

2009-01-18T07:06:00.000-08:00

Prompt at Mama's Losin' It - Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use it as the first line of your own poem.

A poem Kay shared with me once that always moves me - Oranges by Gary Soto - and it has a wonderful last line... I was making a fire in my hands.

______________________

I was making a fire in my hands.
The surge of my heartbeat
pushed pulsing heat down into fingertips
and I held my hands out to him. Fire smoldered.

Hot and hotter still they burned
with the need to be filled
with something I could not name.
I could not say, give it to me. Fire flared.

He looked down into the offered palms, confused.
I knew then he did not see the flames there.
The aching burn that was growing all consuming
all denial and desire and something more. Fire burned.

There in my upturned hands was an open plea
to make me whole again, make me complete;
but he did not understand to quench the unseen fire
I only needed his cool touch. Fire consumed.

The Reaper

2009-01-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

The prompt at Daily Writing Practice today was... The Reapers. I rather like how this poem turned out so thought to share it here too. If you haven't visited Marc's site he always has some interesting prompts and if you are a writer stop by and spend a minute being creative (after you write at Picture, Poetry & Prose of course).

___________________

The sickle slices
against the ripened wheat.

Grass of life falls
row upon row.

Back breaking work
that tears at a soul.

He stands, stretching;
body’s grown tight.

He looks to the west
the sun descends

lower and lower still.
Night will come

before the work is through.

This I Believe - Inviting

2009-01-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

I was driving home tonight listing to NPR (National Public Radio) and heard a great essay on their series, This I Believe, Inviting The World to Dinner. If you click on the link you will hear it told in the author's own voice. Also note on the NPR Website there is a place to offer up your own This I Believe essay, and I know some of you reading this are damn fine writers.

The thing that struck me was that this was, in a way, what I wanted to do when I created Pictures, Poetry & Prose. I wanted to invite new friends to offer up themselves creatively, to find relationships with their words as they shared with others from all over the globe. I wanted my invitation to be open to any one who wanted to drop by. I wanted the place I created to be inviting and welcoming, a place where people felt comfortable to offer up precious pieces of themselves.

I hope if you decide to share there or if you do already you will feel some of this sense of a welcoming community that I want PP&P to be for you.

My house isn't big enough to have dinner parties every Sunday for more than three people. But if you are ever in Southern California and want to meet for coffee, anytime at all, let me know. Friends are precious and you're definitely a friend.

Really Hot Plastic

2009-01-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

Did you know the little black box that is connected in-between where you plug the power cord into the wall and where the plug goes into the laptop gets really hot when it accidentally gets trapped under a pillow that is being laid on by a dog? Did you know the smell of really hot plastic is a little disconcerting coming from under a pillow being laid on by a dog? Did you know when the little black box connecting the cords together gets really hot and smells like really hot plastic the cord stops working and you begin to loss power as no more electrictity is flowing?

Yeah, well I do know... maybe I will see you tomorrow.

Movie Idea

2009-01-10T20:07:00.000-08:00

Love Story meets Toy Story meets Romancing the Stone... with elephants.

Anything is possible in Hollywood.

Better suggestion?

Thank you Uncle Charlie

2009-01-09T11:18:00.000-08:00

In the summer of my twelfth year I spent July and August with my grandparents in Iowa. I was a gangly awkward twelve. A too tall girl with straight brown hair and a stoop to my shoulders that my mother was determined to poke out of me. (Literally, she would walk up behind me and with her middle knuckle jab me in the back.) I was uncomfortable in my maturing body and unsure of my growing mind.

My uncle came to my grandparents to visit for a week. Just ten years older than me he seemed so very grown up. He was going to college at the time and was the strangest character in my family of strange characters. Uncle Charlie was flamboyant and loud. He took acting classes and sang classical music. He played the piano beautifully and loved to tickle me until I would nearly pee my pants. I loved him, I believe now he tolerated me. I was after all a pain-in-the-behind twelve-year-old niece to his then oh-so-very-mature 22-year-old man.

The week he came to visit there was a one-man play just opening. He got us tickets. Just for the two of us. Thinking back I am sure Grandma probably made him. (See he wasn’t so old that he still didn’t have to take orders from mom.) Grandma took me shopping and I got a pretty white dress with spaghetti straps and sandals with heals. I stood up straight for the first time since my horrible growing spurt just six months earlier.

We went to dinner first and I ordered from the real menu (as opposed to the Kid’s Menu). Little breaded shrimp and a steak and a baked potato, oh to feel so grown up. Then we walked the block and a half to the fancy old theater in downtown Dubuque. I hadn’t really cared about what we were seeing, just that something exciting was happening in a boring Iowa summer. We took our seats and the house lights went down and for the next ninety minutes I was enraptured. The play was one actor on stage as Mark Twain. He talked about life with wit and a bit of sarcasm, read from various pieces of literature I had never before been exposed to and opened my mind to telling tales. It was wonderful.

I asked to be taken to the library the next day. I checked out several Twain books. Something so different, to be whisked away by words. And I read, and I read, and I read. A love of literature burned in me suddenly. From that moment on there has always been a book on my nightstand. I am always reading something. And from that love of reading has grown the need to write and share my own views and stories.

Thank you Uncle Charlie.

Tainted Legacy

2009-01-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

Tainted Legacy:

The Story of Alleged Serial Killer Bertha Gifford
by S. Kay Murphy

"On August 25, 1928, a black sedan pulled into the dusty circular driveway of a farmhouse in the tiny rural community of Catawissa, Missouri. The sheriff of St. Louis County emerged from the vehicle and walked slowly up the front steps. A middle-aged farmwife answered his knock. She spoke quietly with him, excused herself to powder her face, then allowed herself to be led outside and taken away. Authorities sought to question her in a mystery which had been building for twenty years: Was she a selfless saint who voluntarily cared for the acutely ill in order to nurse them back to health and restore them to their families, or a minister of death whose crimes would qualify her as America’s first female serial killer? In this riveting nonfiction memoir, S. Kay Murphy recounts the tale of searching for the truth about her great-grandmother—accused murderer Bertha Gifford. "

This is from the just released book written by my good friend Kay. I have my copy ready for her to sign when I see her at our next writing group meeting. If you are interested in this book you can order easily from Amazon.com. I just love 1-Click shopping at Amazon, but it can get dangerous with my addiction to books. Click, click, click... three new books this week.

Melancholy, Morose & Miserable Blog

2009-01-06T11:52:00.000-08:00

After talking with a friend about blogging recently the subject came up about why he did not want to blog.

Because, he offered, when he would have discussions with people, maybe a nice dinner with a friend and ask them about _____ they would reply, well I wrote about it on my blog. And it was clear, that by not reading ever single self important narcissistic word (hey wait, that might be me too), he had disappointed them mightily.

Ok, so, first thing I vow here and now, never to say that. Though I do admit when we talk and I have written a poem or short story, I might poke around a bit to see if he has read it. Well, I know that is my hugely stroke needing writer's ego. But I never claimed to be perfect.

But even my mother doesn't read my blog on a regular basis... MOMMMMMMMM.... if you are reading this leave a damn comment so my delicate daughter ego is stroked.

He also felt he had nothing good in his life right now. Life pretty much sucks a good portion of the time, sometimes. I mean, we all have days, weeks, months (yikes) even years, where Murphy moves in to our spare bedroom and makes sure everything that can go wrong does.

So, I have added an additional blog to my own personal blogisphere (yeah, I did, stop scolding I have time didn't you see on The One Minute Writer today, the prompt is about Making Time, it must be possible, just need the right alchemy) Despair, Devastation & Dysfunction - http://desdevdys.blogspot.com/ . So I invite any and all to become contributors, just email me your Google email and I will add you, (even you, you cheery optimist you, I know you have days you want to rant about something.) :)

Juicy Watermelon

2009-01-06T04:43:00.000-08:00

We spent the weekend up at Mom & Dad's in the mountains. It was lovely cold and still quite a bit of snow on the ground. Living in Southern California you get to miss the seasons quite a bit, so having a few days of actual winter is nice. We played a lot of cards, Rummy and Canasta. Martha wrote a bit about that the other day.

Did the pottery painting again, two reasons, gets us out of the house for a while. Love my mom, but we can get a little... well... we push each other's buttons sometimes. And because it is fun, and Hubby will do it with me. He picked a mug to paint too, his is blue and gold (go Chargers!!). He is a sport nut and not a craft nut, so I really appreicate him doing these silly things with me.

This is my mug. I really like how it turned out. The little seeds inside were so much harder than I thought, spent 20 minutes with a teeny-tiny brush just painting little black seeds. It is a fairly big cup, more for soup, or maybe hot chocolate, since I don't drink coffee.

Four days off work was entirely lovely. But back to work I went yesterday. Much to do for year end. Sigghhh.... isn't it time to retire yet?

New Site

2009-01-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

I do so love finding a new writing site that inspires me to create. This morning it is this site - Daily Writing Practice.

I wrote to the prompt to write four line poem with this as the inspiration... walking in a winter wonderland.

So here is my offering to the prompt this morning -

for only a moment
this is all there is
cold, white, breath taking
wrapped in silent peace

Anti-resolution

2009-01-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

I loved the prompt at The One Minute Writer today asking which resolution will I NOT be making because I would just break it anyway. So I offered up this little bit of my anti-resolution.

________________________________

Wine is fine
Chocolate is lovely
Oh, and bread
and cheese and
meat, how I love
a thick filet
and baked
potato

Yes, I could ride
my bike.
Yes, I could walk
the miles.

But I won't.

I won't give up
delicious food.
I won't excercise,
even when I know
I should.

I will love,
I will live,
I will laugh.

I will be happy
and moderately healthy.

One Second

2008-12-31T20:51:00.000-08:00

One extra second for 2008...

Peter Whibberley, a senior research scientist at Britain's National Physical Laboratory, said the Earth's erratic rotation meant an extra second needed to be added.
"The difference between atomic time and Earth time has now built up to the point where it needs to be corrected, so this New Year's Eve we will experience a rare 61 second minute at the very end of 2008 and revelers... will have an extra second to celebrate.

And what can be done with this extra moment...

Pet your cat in that one spot he adores.
Smile really big.
Kiss your sweetie.
Run outside and gaze at the stars.
Take a really deep breath.
Hug your kids, heck... hug any one.
Read one perfect sentence.
Say I love you.

Just some ideas, I still have 3 hours, 29 minutes and 48 seconds to decide what I will do with my one second. What did you do with your extra second?

Miraculous Game

2008-12-29T05:35:00.000-08:00

Four weeks ago I would not have believed this possible. But my boy's... the San Diego Chargers... will be going to the play offs.

On Sunday night we played the Denver Broncos. They had lost their last few games to put us in the position for this game to be a go on or go home situation for both of us.

And the final score SD 52 - Den 21.

We left no doubt. Rivers was 15-of-20 for 207 yards. Sproles had two touch downs, LT three and Hester had one. We played an all out offensive game and our defense stepped up and played like the team I knew they could be.

So we will be playing Indianapolis at home next weekend. And you know at this point, anything is possible. It has been a bizarre and sometimes miraculous season.

Ho Ho Ho

2008-12-25T18:02:00.000-08:00

All four of the goofy kids in one place at one time. Yea!!! All I really wanted for Christmas. We had pancakes, sausage, hash browns, cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs and milk & juice, I love huge breakfasts and kids all sitting at the table. Left to right... Mitchell, Jessica, Matthew and Aimee.

I got new slippers, a new fuzzy pink robe, a big squishy pillow, a nice bag for my laptop and a lovely griddle from the kids. Some great gifts this year and the slippers are lovely warm. Hubby got me a little video camera that is too cute.

Did you get anything great in your stocking?

Merry Happy Holiday

2008-12-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

(For those who may have had enough warm and fuzzy happy merry holiday)

A Season of Death

The summer sun had done its worst, drying the earth and creating the ready tinder for flames that had come so near. Great drifts of ash had covered every living thing and still the flames marched on seeking to destroy until they licked at the very edges of our remote outpost. Then came the rains hard and stinging. Water meant to heal the earth yet it fell too heavy and fast, soaking the ground until the mud began to slide. But we held on, clinging tightly with every fiber we could, we held on against the deadly flow and it did not take a one of us. The winds of a desolate winter began soon after that. Winds so very cold they made us think of nothing but survival as we stood our ground. We stood as the heavy snow grew deeper and we stood as the icy cold winds slowed the flow of our life blood so that only our very hearts held a spark of any warmth. And those of us who had survived this all before knew. We knew this was the season of fear. This was a time of death. And so they came.

One by one they marched toward us with weapons held at ready. Horrid they were to behold as they brandished their sharpened instruments of destruction. They hunted us, so very quiet in the cold and heavy snow; they lurked and stalked as each of them sought one of us as a victim. Again and again they came and we thought surely they would bring about our annihilation. There was no escape from the devastation of their weapons of war.

The first of them struck swiftly against the oldest of us. We watched as the ancient one trembled in those brief moments before death. And when the greatest of us was gone we wept tears unseen by our enemies. Then they began to take our young, those who had not yet even reached their prime. Those so young we called them babies still and naively thought them safe from this enemy. And I thought then that my heart would surely break. I prayed again and again, a simple prayer, to have one more chance to see the sun, and to feel the rain fall softly and I hoped to find an answer, to know the reason for this carnage. But no answer came, only the sound of my enemy when it was, at last, my turn. I vowed to meet my death noble and brave. Yet I too trembled as the weapon was wielded against my skin. I cried out as its deadly teeth bit deep into my heart. Those who stood around me wept for my lost life. No cries of ours were ever heard.

And these were last words I would ever know, “John, I declare this is the prettiest Christmas tree we’ve ever cut down. I can’t wait to get it home to decorate.”

Inspriation

2008-12-23T08:26:00.000-08:00

Pictures, Poetry & Prose is a writing blog you know, you would think the creator of such a site would proof read her own work. Sighhh, this is what I get for doing things at 2 in the morning when I can't sleep. It is such a pretty banner. I do hope I inspried a bit of a chuckle. I go now to hang my head in shame.

Ok, shame done. What spelling or grammar error have you made in life that caused you to blush a bit?

(Oh, by the way, I have fixed the banner over at PP&P, but I make no promise that I won't make at least one mistake daily. Ok, maybe two. And thank you to Jim for the very gentle point at my inspriationally silly goof.)

Snow Angels

2008-12-22T14:54:00.001-08:00

(a love poem)

Arms flung wide
his fingertips touch
my fingertips

Look up, look up
forever is there
Do you see it?

Perfection drifts
from endless possibilities
above us

Arms flung wide
breath a tangible thing
mingles, kisses the air

Look at me, look at me
lost with you in this night
this abandonment

Up arms sweep
then down again
while legs scissor

Arms flung wide
his heart meets
my heart

Look there, look there
two snow angels
with wingtips touching

Hearts flung wide
with endless possibilities
Do you see it?

Snickerdoodles

2008-12-21T09:39:00.000-08:00

2 sticks cold (not frozen) Margarine
1 ½ cup White Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla
2 Large Eggs
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Salt
3-4 tsp Cream of Tarter (depending on how tart you like them)
2-3 cups Flour
Cinnamon Sugar

Preheat oven to 375. Cream together the margarine and the sugar until blended. Add the vanilla and eggs, beat on medium until a bit fluffy and light colored (about 2 minutes). Add the baking soda, salt and Cream of Tartar and beat for another minute. Gradually add the flour half a cup at a time until the consistency of the batter is like very soft clay. Refrigerate for 15-20 minute until the batter is cold. Form into golf-ball sized balls rolling between your hands and then coat in the cinnamon sugar and place on cool cookie sheet. Cook for 11-13 minutes. They should be pale with only the very bottom edge getting color. Immediately remove from cookie sheet to rack.

A Little Chicken

2008-12-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

I love visiting The One Minute Writer nearly daily. The prompts are always fun and this creativity daily (or as often as life allows) always makes me feel good. Saturday's prompt asked simply, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" It is coming up with a creative answer that pushes the imagination and makes the writer inside want to offer something unique. I was so very honored to be chosen as the Writing of the Day (for the second time), and for C. Beth, the TOMW creator, to include Pictures, Poetry & Prose on her incredible site's sidebar.

So here was my answer to the eternal question of chicken and the road crossing.

Why! Why is the only question you ask about this hero. There is so much more this story. I think perhaps we should be asking who this chicken is. For she is the one who found a way to free herself from the bondage of the cage, the horror of daily egg production, and the answer to all this was to simply cross that road.

Of course, getting run over by the car in the middle of the road rather put a tragic twist to the tale.

And I Just Sighhhhhh

2008-12-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

Here is a bit of advice for you young moms. You will be tempted at some point to use this argument. Your youngish kid (most likely teenager) will want to do something to themselves that you do not like. Tattoo, weird hair, piercing... etc... you will think to say, "When you pay your own way, pay your own bills then you can do what you want. Until then, NO."

This is what can happen... Matt, he works hard, pays his own way, is 21... but as a Mom, I really wish I could still say NO.

So my advice, don't give them that little speach, always hold onto VETO rights. Yes, I know it will still probably happen, but at least you can be grumpy about it.

Grieving

2008-12-18T01:54:00.000-08:00

I stood before a group of strangers. The only people I knew in the room were the people sitting in the front pew, my mother and father, my two uncles and my sister, and the woman sitting on the opposite side of the aisle, my grandfather's second wife. And while the tears streamed down our faces she never shed one. I don't know if she was grieving inside and I am not sure if she cared that my heart was breaking.

I stood when it seemed I had no choice and I walked to the front of the church and spoke. I still don't know if I spoke to my family or to the strangers or maybe to this woman who seemed so cold and uncaring.

I spoke of a grandfather who is missed more than seems bearable. I spoke of the best hugs in the world. I spoke of a caring and loving man who's physical heart at last gave up, but who's heart he loved with will go on beating inside those he loved forever. I honored my grandfather as best I was able through the sobs that laid me bare, I honored him with my words and all the joy I have for the love of him and all the sadness for the loss of him. I did my best, and I think he would have been proud and pleased.

Grandpa, I love you and I miss you. I will live my life remembering all the lessons you taught me.

I Knew Instantly

2008-12-14T12:14:00.000-08:00

Every hope he offered
and the world spun
crazily.

Lips and hands and
caresses that
took breath away.

For a day, forever
for a moment
for this instant.

~
For the prompt at Sunday Scriblings.

Party

2008-12-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

Had my company holiday party last night. We went to a wonderful fondue restaurant that is local. It was great fun. Soooo glad they put us in the back room with closing doors. We got a little bit rowdy. They have the best mixed drinks there. I had a Love Martini - which is made with... Malibu rum, Peach Schnapps, cranberry juice and fresh strawberries. Okay, I had more than just "a" martini... like three. But it was a party and a bit of fun felt very nice.

I was in charge of the games (which I have been at our Holiday parties for the past 15 years). They may grumble and groan a bit, but every year people are laughing and having a wonderful time.

I gave each person as they came in a bell, an index card with number and took a Polaroid picture of them making a funny face.

There were four courses for dinner. Starting with cheese fondue, then salad, then the entree and ending with Oh-my-heaven delicious chocolate fondue. Each course the photos went in a basket and then got passed back around and where ever your picture ended up that was where you sat for that round. There were 3 tables so it mixed things up nicely. I think we may have stressed the wait staff out a bit, but I tipped well. And it kept the conversations fresh and fun.

The bells were a game that I did once at a baby shower with diaper pins. You got a pin and then if someone caught you saying the word baby you had to give up your pin(s). So every one was belled as they came in and you couldn't say the word NO. It was hilarious watching people get caught. By the end of the evening it was down to just a couple of people. And they were saying yes to everything. I had ten bells at one point and 30 seconds later lost them all.

The index cards was the last game, everyone wrote on their card one random fact. With twenty people the facts ran the gamut from... "I know how to milk a cow." (mine) to "I have been skydiving."... then before dessert I read all the facts out loud and they had to match the facts to the person. The two winners of the game tied at seven correct answers. But the average was three. Some of the cards were so funny and we were laughing hard by then end of it.

So that was my night. And I really had a good time. I took an Advil and drank a big glass of water before slipping into bed so really the only thing that hurts this morning is my feet from wearing the high heels.

A Dark Haiku

2008-12-11T03:27:00.000-08:00

Isn't it odd where the writing comes from on occasion? I was visiting a few blogs this morning. Just seeing what was offered in the blogger universe. And I linked from The One Minute Writer to Musings.

It was a fun little post A Russian Proverb. The proverb itself was - You cannot write in the chimney with charcoal. The imagery of being trapped and only having a bit of charcoal to leave a mark was rather strong and I thought about what you might write in this metaphorical or perhaps even literal situation. And so this haiku worked its way out of me. And there is something that feels good about letting these words out.

dark hopes leave me trapped

wishing only to escape

coal stained fingers speak

Grandpa Bill - I Miss You Already

2008-12-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

William Athol (Bill) Layton, 84, died December 9, 2008, at his home in Thatcher, Arizona. Bill was a direct descendent of a well-known Gila Valley pioneer, being the great-grandson of Thatcher town founder, Christopher Layton. Bill was born February 13, 1924 in San Diego, California, to Christopher Athol and Laura Foote Layton. The family moved to Safford, Arizona where his parents lived the remainder of their lives. Bill graduated from Safford High School in 1942 and joined the US Navy. He served on a ship in the Normandy Invasion in WWII.

In 1945, Bill married Velma Hockenberry of Mason City, Iowa. The couple lived in Mason City for many years, then Clinton and Dubuque, Iowa. Bill and Velma had four children – Jim, deceased in 1967, Nancy (Idyllwild, CA), David (Clinton, IA), and Charles (Greenfield, IA). Bill worked for Interstate Power Company in Iowa from 1948 until his retirement in 1986. After Velma’s death in 1986, Bill returned to the Gila Valley and lived in Safford. Bill married Gladiolia Vivian Dickson in 1988 and the couple lived first in Safford, then Apple Valley, California, then moved back to the Thatcher in 2001.

Bill Layton was a life-long Freemason, a member of the Safford American Legion Post 32, and an active member of the Safford Church of Christ. He was preceded in death by his parents; a sister; his son, Jim; and his wife, Velma. Bill is survived by his wife, Vivian; his children, Nancy, David, and Charles; two brothers, Charlie and Roy; three sisters, Dorothy, Carol Ann, and Joyce; four grandchildren, Laura, Sara, Micah, and Will; and seven great-grandchildren.

A memorial service is planned for Tuesday, December 16 at the Safford Church of Safford, AZ.

This obituary was written by my mother, Nancy Layton in memory and honor of my grandfather. He is missed more than my simple words can say.

Canon in D

2008-12-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

When Hubby and I got married we did so on New Year's Eve in our backyard. It was perfect. Our four children, his Aimee and Mitch, mine Matthew and Jessica, stood with us and we became a family. One of my favorite memories of the night (we partied first and had the ceremony at midnight) was hearing the opening notes of Pachelbel's Canon in D and down the stairs one of the kids after another walked, me last and walking out the back door. Our backyard was lit by the thousands of twinkle lights Hubby had spent two days stringing from the house to the fence, friends and family stood for me but all I could see were the children and Hubby there waiting for me as the notes of the Canon faded.

I still tear up every time I hear this song. So in the beautiful age of the internet I can find many lovely versions of this song. But there are also some fun versions that make me smile. I thought I might share them here with you.

So here you go...

The classic version,

a unique and incredible guitar version of Canon Rock,

a fun percussion arrangement,

and to end one of the funniest uses of classical music. I just love this guy.

Tree Tradition

2008-12-07T06:42:00.000-08:00

I am a bit sad this year.

We have had the tradition of going to pick out the Christmas tree in November at the tree farm with our four children for the past 13 years. Every year the nice kids who tag the tree for you take your family's picture with your tree and then about 3-4 weeks later you go back and cut your tree down and retrieve your picture. We have 13 pictures in frames.

This year two kids had to work on the scheduled opening weekend of the tree farm, one was out of town and the other... sleeping. They are 22, 21, 20 and 20... and these family traditions just don't seem quite so important to them. Oh, I could have forced the issue, made a fuss and they would have found a way. But I think that it is okay this year to let them "out" of it. They will soon have their own families (yikes!) and start their own traditions. And perhaps it is time for Hubby and me to start a new one of our own. Maybe just him and I will go and pick, not the biggest tree we can find, but a small one. Maybe we will start going again and getting a picture when there are grandchildren to chase around the tree farm playing hide & seek or Marco Polo. (Hopefully not for quite a few more years though.)

Yes, I will be a bit sad not to put a new picture in a frame this year. But also just as happy to see all the ones up there that are framed. See my children grow through each year's picture and realize that I raised happy, healthy children who have grown into strong, independent adults. I think that is a fine tradition.

* This picture is from about 6 years ago, a duplicate I had handy to grab a photo of. That is Hubby and Laura Jayne (me) and Jessica, Matt, Aimee and Mitch.

________________________

Written for the prompt at the new writing site I found this morning - Sunday Scribblings.

The What and the Why of Pictures, Poetry & Prose

2008-12-05T03:12:00.000-08:00

I often wake up in the middle of the night with ideas. Poor Hubby, he probably can't begin to count how many times I have not so quietly whispered, "You awake?" and he grumbles and mumbles, "I had this idea," I will continue, and his grumbles and mumbles turn into groans and moans. And I tell him my idea and he kisses me says something like, "That's nice, dear." And shortly after that he is snoring again, hmmmm, not sure he appreciated the genius of my new idea about ________. I have also been know to call Kay or Mom very early the next morning with my ideas. And they always listen and never snore after. Though was that a sigh I heard just before the phone was hung up?

What kind of ideas? Oh, you know, anything... inventions, board games, party games, ways to do good in the world, ways to cook salmon, ways to inspire others, getting bikes to get in shape, ways to inspire others to do good in the world, anything and everything.

So just over a month ago it was lovely as another friend had this idea. Well, not exactly the idea that Pictures, Poetry & Prose turned out to be. He likes to take beautiful photographs, I like to write. He suggested we inspire each other and exchange the two via email. Of course, I couldn't just let that be it. I loved this idea. No wait... I LOVED this idea. Using photos to inspire writing. It was simple and brilliant. Yes, has probably been done before. But not by me, in this way. And I was already blogging. I understood the concept. I love inspiring others to write. WOW this could work. The mental train of thought is occasionally a really fast bullet train, and I just hang on for the ride.

So after waking up at about 2 in the a.m. I didn't wake Hubby this time. I turned on my laptop and outlined a few ideas and then... just started doing. Sometimes you just need to do that, just do it (sorry Nike for plagiarism there). I took my friend's idea and expanded on it, and then expanded some more.

Highlander (thus nicknamed as he is from Scotland) the friend with the idea, has a lovely catalog of photos. And I began to really look at them found several that motivated me with ideas and saved those to my own computer. But I needed a name... a name... a name... a name. His idea was the pictures, I wanted that first and the poetry and prose just fell in a nice alliteration-ish line. Images, Ideas and Inspiration, I just love the concept, this is what I wanted to offer, beautiful and unique images that inspire. My friends Kathryn and Cyndy (I was so hoping they would want to participate, and yea!! they did) also have online sites for their photos that I have always found them inspirational and so when they allowed me free access to their images I was on a fast roll down a nice creative hill. Oh, and the quote... On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops.Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. ... one of my favorites, taken from A River Runs Through It. I just love this quote. And now, a month later, people are sharing, really writing and being inspired. Photographers and artists are joining and sharing their visions and being a part of this amazing process. Every day I do a little happy dance to read and see and share and be a part of this creativity. It fills me up with pleasure.

When I was president of my writers group, Inland Empire California Writers Club, I didn't always love the administrative aspects of the position on a board level. But I adored planning and executing the general meetings. Thinking of ways to motivate people to be creative. To inspire in them even just a kernel of an idea that might grow and grow and leave them fulfilled. Now that was a challenge that I loved.

And so is this project, something I love. I am so grateful to my friend for allowing me to run with his idea. I am so grateful to all who are participating now. I do hope you will write with me, share with me, be inspired and inspiring.

Ok, off to do another happy dance.

And I promise to not wake you up at two in the morning with my ideas. I will wait until at least 4:30.

Guacamole Recipe

2008-12-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

Over at the One Minute Writer today the question was... what food is Yuck. My choice is bell peppers. Just can't stand them. But a couple of the posts caught my eye... one said yuck to tomatoes another to guacamole. Yikes, two of my favorites. So I have been inspired to offer up this recipe... which everyone who has had, has enjoyed.

My friend, who introduced me to guacamole when I was first learning to cook, made the blandest guacamole with nothing but avocados and some cilantro. I loved her, but I knew there had to be a better way. My family loves spicy foods and over the years I have come up with a guacamole recipe that has a bit of a kick. I always have just eyeballed the spices adding a bit more and more (making my husband taste test) till it gets just right. I make this for every family get together. I tried once to show up without it. They made me go to the store and get the ingredients before they would let me in the door. I missed the first quarter of the Super Bowl, but everyone was happy with the guacamole. This recipe will make enough to satisfy most party requirements. It can be halved to make just enough for a meal as a side.

Kicky Guacamole

5-6 ripe avocados
1 Jar (16 oz) hot or medium salsa (start with half a jar and add as you like)
¼ Cup sour cream (really you don't need to measure, just put a plop)
½ tsp garlic salt
1 tsp McCormick Mexican Seasoning
½ tsp chili powder
1 dash hot sauce
2 medium-finely chopped tomatoes

Scoop avocados from their skins, discard pits. Mash avocados in a bowl with a fork or potato masher (I like to leave them a bit chunky) stir in all other ingredients.

Garnish the top with a few extra tomatoes, an extra plop of sour cream and a sprinkle of chili powder. Serve with chips or as a side for enchiladas or other Mexican favorite.

Another Loss, a Nice Day Anyway

2008-12-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

And so my boys in blue, my Chargers, (American Football, San Diego Chargers) have lost yet again. I fear any hopes for a good season have been dashed with this loss on Sunday to the Atlanta Falcons.

It was a good game, for a bit. The ups and downs of sports is something I enjoy. That is hubby and me in the picture on this past beautiful Sunday afternoon. His arm, my feet (in case you weren't sure). But in the end too many mistakes were made and mostly by a man I am ever increasingly frustrated with. Norv Turner (head coach) makes some decisions I entirely do not agree with. I do believe he may not be long for the job he currently holds. Fans are getting restless and this 4-8 season with a team that at the beginning of the season had Super Bowl aspirations does not bode well, in my mind, for his job security.

But the tailgating was nice. The beautiful winter sun was lovely. The hot dog and peanuts were good. And we had quite a few good plays that were worth cheering for. So, I am sad that my boys lost. But happy I had a lovely day out with Hubby at the game.

Hannah Bear Sings

2008-11-30T08:07:00.000-08:00

Hannah Bear (Hannah Noel), my niece, is 2 and 3/4s

and is a wonderful singer.

She came to stay here at Grandma's house

(Grandma and Grandpa are in the

last picture with Miss Hannah)

after they came home from Arizona

visiting Hannah's Great Grandpa.

She has sung for your pleasure...

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Tangle In the Hair

John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt

Soup Bowl for a Friend

2008-11-29T08:27:00.000-08:00

We... Hubby and I... are in Idyllwild this weekend. It is a lovely little mountain community about an hour and a half drive from our home. It is where my parents live. But this weekend my parents are in Arizona visiting my grandfather for the Thanksgiving holiday so we have the cabin to ourselves. It has been lovely.

There is not much to do up here. Hike, sit and read, sit and do whatever hobby you like (I did a bit of painting but nothing seemed to work well). The town is small and once you have walked it, wandering in and out of the little touristy shops there isn't much else. One place I do enjoy is the paint-your-own-pottery place, Earth & Fire. Raw pottery lines the shelves you pick out what you want, bowls and plates, cups and piggy banks, knicky-knacky stuff, and paint with glazes and they fire it over night. We come up here to Mom & Dad's mountain to stay and relax quite a few weekends out of the year and so we have quite a fun collection of our own silly painted bowls and plates. But it is even more enjoyable to make something for someone else.

This bowl (not yet fired, thus the dull colors) is for my Highlander friend in Scotland. Those who write (or read) at Pictures, Poetry & Prose will know him for his photography, which is wonderful. I know him for so much more, his generous heart, his sense of humor, his grumpy moods and his ability to cheer me up with a single word. And he likes soup, a lot it seems. So I offered to make him a Laura Jayne special soup bowl. Because every man needs a bowl with ladybugs on it!! I did include some wee four leaf clovers for luck. It is always more fun to make something like this for someone else. They just have to like it, even if it has bugs on it.

Hubby made a wonderful pasta plate that will go into use tonight when I make pasta for Mom and Dad's homecoming. I think something with seafood tonight and a fetuchini and maybe a white sauce. We will have to see, I tend to just toss stuff in until it seems done. Maybe I will pay a bit of attention this time and offer up a recipe or two here. I do so love to cook.

P.S. Just picked this up from the pottery store. I like it. :)

Listen to the Rain

2008-11-28T04:05:00.000-08:00

I can hear the rain falling gently outside. It comes softly down and down through the boughs of the pines until it reaches a ground carpeted by the recently fallen oak leaves. And the sound of each drop is muffled by their wet softness there. A thousand, ten thousand drop in a moment make barely a whisper. It is as if the world is offering up a quiet sigh. And there is a peace to it.

I could sit for hours and listen to the rain. To breath in the freshness of it all. To feel the giving of it all. Life is water. That is no metaphor, it is simply a truth. Without water we all will die. And so in these moments is it mortality I feel? I am not sure. But I take a deep breath and feel renewed, alive, special in that I can slow down long enough to be truly alive, aware in this moment.

I want to see more clearly the moments that matter. See that taking time to cook a meal matters. Not for the mere sustenance, but for the offering of myself to others. See that knitting a scarf, or painting a picture, offering a sentence of beauty, or any other thing that I do, that I share is good. See that taking a walk and seeing nature is good for my soul. See what I do in the world, giving a helping hand to another, being kind, sharing myself, doing the right thing when it is hard. All of it matters.

And so in this holiday season, I will try to refocus. Not on the things and the stuff and the trimmings that sparkle and twinkle, but on the people. Not on the gifts, but on the giving. I will write a note of caring and take the time to put it in an envelope, not because I must out of some peer pressured holiday guilt. No, I will do so because I hope when my friends and loved ones open that envelope I will have made their lives better. It does not matter our religion, our beliefs in any God, what matters is our hearts, our human hearts and the good that is in them. I want to remember what makes us the same, rather than what makes us different.

It is the season, for love and caring. And that can be difficult in trying times when the world seems out of control with worry, hate and fear. But I will try to offer what I can to make the caring for others, for doing good the thing. I will take the time to listen to the rain and be renewed in love.

Cross posted on Pictures, Poetry & Prose for the Tis the Season prompt.

Thanks for Hubby

2008-11-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

Thank you Hubby,

For dancing in the kitchen with me last night. For walking in the rain with me. For snoring next to me.

Thank you for the kisses on my forehead, and for checking if I have a fever and telling me I do even if I don't because when I feel ill for some reason it makes me feel better to think I have a fever. Thank you for laughing when I give directions wrong and knowing I get left and right mixed up. Thank you for telling me you like my bottom and meaning it. Thank you for holding my hand. Thank you for driving slower than you want so I won't panic.

Thank you Hubby for snuggling up to me in the night and wrapping your arm around me and pulling me in tight. Thank you for coming to the pound with me and saying no to another dog, but still going to the front counter and paying the fee. Thank you for eating anything I make, even all the desserts when you don't much like dessert, tasting five different pies on Thanksgiving is a lovely thing for you to do for me. Thank you for coming to chick flicks with me even though you roll your eyes. Thank you for always putting me to bed and never leaving me sleeping on the couch.

Thank you Hubby for coming back into the house when you are leaving for work just to kiss me one more time. Thank you for looking at me in the morning light with messy hair, and sleepy eyes and no make up and telling me I am beautiful. Thank you for the 1,000 more things.

Thank you Hubby, for loving me.

I love you.

Inspired by today's prompt at The One Minute Writer.

I'm in the Mood for a Melody

2008-11-26T03:23:00.000-08:00

"Sing me a love song, something happy."

"But I don't know any happy songs. I am sad today."

"You have to know one happy love song."

"No, all are about loss and heartache, pain and suffering."

"Please, I love your voice, but I want a love song from you."

And he took a breath and he began to sing to me.
I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see them bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

It was soft and deep and rich, but just barely a whisper in the dark. I closed my eyes and we just were there together in a place of happiness for these moments. His voice wrapped around me and made my heart full of joy. And I closed my eyes again in the night and heard his voice in my head as the last thing before sleeping.
I see skies of blue..... and clouds of white
The bright blessed day.... the dark sacred nights
And I think to myself... what a wonderful world.

Do we slow down often enough to sing a love song? Do we appreciate these beautiful, wonderful gifts from one person to another? You have to tell them that it is meaningful when they sing for you. You have to offer your own melody back in whatever way you can. Sing with your own voice to the one you love. Sing with words, with actions, sing with slow dancing barefoot in the living room, with a pineapple up-side down cake or with whatever that thing that you do is that says I love you. Just sing a love song of happiness.

And this is my song for you my darling. And it is a wonderful world because you are in it.

Poetry From Insomnia

2008-11-25T03:55:00.000-08:00

There was a post over at this wonderful blog Eat a Pomme that inspired me this 3 a.m. titled - 16 Word Experiment

I enjoyed the challenge and was a lovely thing to write poetry while not sleeping.

******

The train whistle blows
warnings at 3:18 and I know
such things should
not be heard

******

I close my eyes
but no dreams come
only images of
children lost in the
night

_________________

And at The One Minute Writer this morning the prompt was for a Haiku (5-7-5) after closing your eyes and turning around to write what you see.

******

It is the darkness
that envelopes me here, now
that tears at my soul

*****

I swear I am not depressed.

A Bit of Rambling

2008-11-24T05:22:00.000-08:00

The world turns on a wobbly axis. Some days it seems as if it is just a little off. As if the world shifted a bit and is spinning wrong. Today may be one of those days.

Hubby is back to working days this week. The last three he has been working nights and I just entirely hate that. And I don't sleep well without his snoring next to me. Isn't it funny how we get used to such a thing and grow to need it?

It is Thanksgiving week. I am not a holiday lover. Would rather skip most. Partly I think because for so many years Hubby and I had to worry which home our children would be in. We are both here together in our second marriages and for 15 years made it work driving children here and there and trying to make the abnormal... normal on the holidays. They are grown now... 20, 20, 21, 22... but still we share them with the ex's and I suppose before too long it will be with in-laws, sighhh. And this year's Thanksgiving Hubby and I are driving up to the mountains. Any kids that come along will be welcome, but I think there will probably not be a turkey on the table, maybe a lovely pasta dish instead.

Today's Quote -
There is a quote from the movie Bull Durham that struck me today that works for baseball as well as life.

"You have to play this game with fear and arrogance."

~ Crash Davis

Because I didn't have enough to do...

2008-11-23T18:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, I didn't have enough to do so I decided that yet another place to fill up white space with my words is vitally necessary in my life.

So welcome to my personal blog.

I am Laura Jayne.

As it says in my profile I am many things... wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc. Yes, there are more titles you could put with me. But this covers all the main me's. And I do many things... write, paint, count beans, blog, chat, knit, etc. I think this is all pretty accurate and yes there are a few etceteras (eceteri?), as I will try many new things that strike me as interesting or challenging or fun.

I am a glass half full kind of person. I find happiness not a challenge, but goal worth reaching for every day.

I hate laundry. I love my husband. I love going out to dinner. I love cooking. I hate bell peppers. I love garlic. I have three little dogs, and all of them are bad. I once won a bubble gum blowing contest. I never learned well my left and right hands and so if I ever give you direction, turn left if I say right. I married young, had my children young, both of which were challenges in my life, but now the children are grown, husband not entirely and I have much more freedom to explore all that I find worthy or more often, fun.